It is now March, I'm pretty sure I wrote this blogpost in January, I don't know why I didn't post it then, but here it goes, and it still applies. Haha
So I ran as fast as I could this last week, or at least I tried to, no it wasn’t a get fit moment on my new years resolution list (though that is on my list…), it was me trying to “get it all together” once and for all. Silly as it sounds, I think in my mind I actually think it’s possible. Because I keep getting frustrated when something I did get’s “undone” which with 3 kids is almost immediately. I am convinced cleaning has to near the top of the “least rewarding” job list, anyone agree? Yes it’s a necessary evil, so that we don’t live in filth (all the time), but it certainly is undone quickly, is it not?
What would I rather be doing? Sewing, blogging, cooking, baking, exercising….ANYTHING. It’s not that I mind the work, it’s just that the satisfaction of the finished product is so temporary. Like hours, if that, for a little boy to run to the bathroom, pee in the dark, without.lifting.the.seat. Yes, in the dark. Yes I even washed the shower curtain to try to get rid of that urine smell…
yes in the dark.
The funny thing is that I’m the one that has been “preaching” this brevity of life speech recently because we’ve seen a lot of death and sickness that has me wanting to live enjoying what’s important. So the duality ensues, my heart is revealed when I’m angry about my son spitting toothpaste on the back of the counter and all over the mirror, when I would rather sew on my boys one afternoon off early than spend quality time with them, and this was just yesterday. You can imagine how I was doing by 7pm last night. I prefer to think of how I repented this morning, and received a warm hug of forgiveness from one tenderhearted son.
So what’s the answer? Grace. It’s always the answer. When I’ve done my best with these earthly hands, and it’s still not good enough, I’m not needing more hands, more help, more time, more sleep, though that would all be nice, what I’m really needing is grace. The grace that says:
“Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” say my soul, “therefore I hope in Him!” Lamentation 3:22-26
The grace that the Lord gives to try again tomorrow in His strength, with His heart towards my family and with His eyes as to what’s important. I need this grace so that I can give this grace. Thank you Lord for another day to love my family and love those you’ve put in my path.
